The Table Manners Story

Helloo! I'm back after CNY break..Didn't get as much angpow as expected..ahh nowadays angpows are replaced with oranges and Cap Tangan groundnuts..aiikh what to do, what to do..anyway, since im having a lot of free time today, i wanna write about table manners lah - since we Malaysian have all this kind of variety of food, from roti canai to spaghetti, from teh tarik to Esprit, from mamak rojak at the tepi longkang with his motorcycle alertly waiting the arrival of the bloody MPPJ/DBKL, to the lavishly decorated Big Apple Restaurant at the Berjaya Times Square Hotel. One unique thing about the eating manners that we Malaysians have, is that we really, really, really like to talk while we chomp our food. So while the conversation is about to get more and more interesting, so does the food that's being mercilessly chomped in the mouth. You can practically see the complete process of the shredding of a whatever-that-is-being-bitten-to-smitherins by the end of the conversations..Yep thats us.. =)

Anywayyyy..this is among the most basic table manners that can be practised in important business functions, romantic candle-lit dinners, wedding dinners, kenduri, family dinners at home or at the mamaks for all i care..haha



1. DON'T SLOUCH

Mind your posture. Sit up straight and don't lean back on your chair, or too far forward. Keep your arms near your body and elbows off the table. Don't put your feet up on a chair, especially if someone else is in that chair.

2. DON'T BE MESSY

When you sit down, put the napkin on your lap and leave it there to catch any stray food. If you spill something, use your napkin to prevent anything from spilling onto other people sitting next to you, before you attempt to protect your own clothes. If you need to remove something from your food such as a stray piece of hair or an insect, do so subtly and place it under the edge of your plate.

3. DON'T EMIT BODILY NOISES

Avoid coughing and nose blowing. If you need to cough or sneeze, turn your head away from the table and cover your mouth with your napkin. An inappropriate burp or fart may ruin the meal for anyone else.

4. FINGERS ARE A NO-NO
Try not to order anything that doesn't require the use of cutlery such as hamburgers, french fries and corn on the cob. Use a knife and fork for your food, and put your knife down before you start eating. Never use your fork to cut food. Foods you can eat with your fingers. But then, often we have trouble with cutlery as well. And so, here's how to delicately enjoy your food with your cutlery

5. DON'T REACH FOR FOOD

Rather than reaching over someone for anything, simply ask someone to pass it to you. And, make sure to pass whatever's near you around the table as well. But only pass it if you're the closest person to the item. And when you pass the salt and pepper, they should always be passed around together.

6. DON'T BLOW YOUR FOOD
Blowing on your food is only acceptable if you're five years old and the woman sitting across from you is your mother. Simply allow any hot food to cool down on its own before you eat it. And don't slurp.

7. DON'T BITE OFF MORE THAN YOU CAN CHEW
You don't want to choke during a business lunch, literally or figuratively. So place small portions of food into your mouth and chew them thoroughly. Chew with your mouth closed and don't make any noise

8. DON"T SPRAY FOOD WHEN YOU SPEAK

Don't drink or talk with your mouth full. The last thing you want is for bits of your meal to end up on your company's plate or face. Once food goes into your mouth, it shouldn't be seen again. If you need to spit a piece of food out, do it surreptitiously by using your napkin and pretending to wipe your mouth.

9. DON'T PICK YOUR TEETH WOO

If you feel a particle of food stuck between your teeth, try to use your tongue to dislodge it. Or, take a sip of water and push the water through your teeth to remove the food (subtly of course). If these attempts fail, excuse yourself from the table, grab a toothpick, and do the heavy digging in the bathroom. And never scratch your body, pick your nose, or clean your ears, especially with your car keys

10. INDULGE IS FINE, BUT DON'T OVERINDULGE

Pace yourself with food and alcohol. Take your time eating and try to finish at the same time as your companions. And as for alcohol, don't drink more than others at the table or more than you can handle. The point is to impress people with your manners, not your drinking abilities.(*hic hic*)

11. DON'T BE A DOWNER

Don't ruin a pleasant meal by bringing up polarizing topics like politics or religion. Conversation and conduct should be light and cheerful. Be good company, in a good mood. When in doubt, keep your mouth shut and listen. If you're on a date, let the girl ramble on about her job, family and friends.

12. NEVER COMPLAIN

When faced with an entre that tastes like low-grade horsemeat, don't blame the waitress -- she didn't cook it. Raising a big stink will make you look like a jerk. Simply ask for a different dish to replace it. But if you're eating at someone's house, just grin and bear it because saying anything would be rude.

13. DON'T LOOK LIKE A SLOB

Dress appropriately for the occasion with clean, unwrikled clothes in good repair. If you're wearing a hat, especially a baseball cap, remove it before you are seated. Don't chew gum or smoke at the table.


To know more, here's a few websites you can look through :

http://www.cuisinenet.com/glossary/tableman.html

http://www.lahacal.org/gentleman/table.html

http://www.nationalcenter.org/WashingtonCivility.html


So so, Bon appetit!!~